A Year-End Forgiveness Practice
For what you’re ready to release—and what you’re not
Author’s Note
This practice is offered gently and without expectation.
Forgiveness is not a requirement, a timeline, or a moral obligation. It is not the same as reconciliation, and it does not erase harm.
If this feels accessible, take what serves you. If it does not, trust that too.
Healing is not linear. Readiness matters.
It’s almost the new year, yet so much may feel stagnant.
Time moves forward, but the body and mind often lag behind.
Living in the gray often means holding conflicting truths at once, love and anger, gratitude and grief. This practice is not meant to resolve those tensions, but to create a little more space around them.
If you are living with estrangement, you may still be carrying resentment, not only in your thoughts, but in your body. It can show up as tension, fatigue, rumination, or a quiet heaviness that follows you through the day.
Pause for a moment and ask yourself:
How does this inform your day?
How does it shape the way you relate to others, those close to you, and even yourself?
In these final weeks before the New Year, I want to gently invite you to practice two things.
You can stop at any point, take a break, or return to this practice another day.
First, write down everything your person did that feels hurtful to you. Be honest. This is not about fairness or balance. It is about truth.
Second, write down everything you are grateful for about them. The moments, the qualities, the memories that were real and mattered. This is the black and the white, side by side.
When you are finished, tear the pages up, burn them safely, or simply discard them. The act itself matters more than the method.
Then, write a letter.
Let it begin with three simple words:
I love you.
Not because everything is resolved.
Not because harm didn’t occur.
But because love and pain often coexist, and acknowledging both can loosen what has been held too tightly for too long.
If those words feel out of reach, begin where you can.
This letter does not need to be sent.
It is not an invitation or a reconciliation.
It is an offering to yourself, a way of setting something down before stepping into a new year.
Read it out loud, once, twice, and maybe again.
Let the words move through you.
Allow whatever feelings arise to wash over you, without judgment or urgency. There is no right response here, only an honest one.
When you feel complete, place one hand over your heart.
Pause. Breathe.
Speak these words aloud:
I love you.
Not to your person first, but to yourself.
Let the words land where they are most needed.
Then, with your hands pressed outward from your heart, say the words again:
I love you.
This time, allow the Universe, or whatever you trust, to carry your person’s name.
You do not need to say it.
You do not need to explain it.
Simply let the love move beyond you, released without expectation or return.
At the end of this practice, you may feel a pang, or even a deeper ache, in your chest. Try not to push it away.
This is often how grief makes itself known. Not as something new, but as something that has been living quietly within you, now asking to be acknowledged.
Stay with it, if you can. Breathe into that space. You do not need to force it to leave.
This is not about fixing or forgetting.
It is the quiet work of tending to your heart.
And in the place where grief resides, my wish for you is simple:
that one day, in your own time, peace finds its way there too.
What happens next is not yours to carry.
Your work is complete, for now.
Ludovico Einaudi – “I Giorni”: You may wish to play this as you allow the feelings to wash over you.
A closing note
If this practice stirred something tender, take care of yourself afterward. Drink water. Step outside. Rest. You are allowed to move slowly.
If you’d like to stay, I share reflections like this here. You’re welcome to subscribe and return whenever it feels right.
With love and gratitude,
Chellie 🩷
Chellie Grossman is a Certified Life Coach, Keynote Speaker, and Writer who helps people move through estrangement, grief, and life transitions with resilience and hope. As a leadership and empowerment coach, she guides others to reclaim their voice, embrace their strength, and build lives rooted in authenticity and purpose.
If you’d like support on your journey, she warmly invites you to connect with her at Twisted Tree Coaching